Geneva, Switzerland — Scientists have been convening over the last several months in an attempt to create the next big hoax to play on the citizens of the world. After the complete failure of “Global Warning”, scientists say they are determined to invent a better ruse to fool everyone.
“We had no idea that the American public and their politicians were so knowledgeable.” Said Thomas Keefe, President of the World Academy of Scientists. “Historically, only the Catholic Church had the money and power to figure out that most of our so called “theories” were total bullshit. We thought that Global Warming would be hysterical, but underestimated the intelligence of your average American high school dropout from Texas. They saw right through it.”
Keefe says that global scientists are trying to figure out their next big gag. Although there have been some good ideas, nothing has jumped out at them yet. “It’s hard to constantly make up believable fake theories just to mess with people, but we all agree that it’s our duty as scientists”
If you think you haven’t been fooled in the past by some of these theories, think again. Here are just a few examples of other jokes that scientists have played on us in the past.
- Evolution
Darwin was a total wise ass that just wanted to hang out on remote islands by himself. He figured if he pretended he was studying something, no one would bother him. The church has been on to this hoax for years, but it’s still hanging in there.
- Heliocentricity
Haha! Scientists duped everyone with this one and most people still believe the earth and the planets revolve around the sun. Idiots.
- Germ Theory
Yea.. little things called “germs” cause many of our ailments. Tell that to God when he makes you sick for the real reason. .. being a bad person.
It might be easy to say that the Oil and Gas industry had a hand in debunking Global Warming, but not so fast. There is evidence to suggest scientists may have received literally hundreds of dollars in payments from the monolithic Solar Power Industry. The same global powerhouse that has also reportedly paid for scientist’s meals at Olive Garden and the occasional cup of coffee.